Acrylic Paints, Inks, White and Wooden Canvas baords, String Gel & Modeling Paste
2019-2020
GOAL: Create pieces of artwork to answer the question "How to use koi fish to represent the struggle and endurance of mental illness" for my highschool AP art portfolio.
This series of paintings was created for my high school senior year AP art portfolio, focusing on the theme of growth and change in terms of mental illness.
Koi fish have always held a special place in my life. My dad loves koi fish and often speaks about their deep meaning to him. When I was assigned the AP art portfolio, I chose mental illness as my theme—a subject close to my heart due to my personal struggles and growth in overcoming it.
As I searched for inspiration, I explored the symbolism of koi fish and discovered their association with perseverance and endurance in the face of adversity. They symbolize progress and determination, embodying the legendary "warrior fish" that swims against powerful currents, climbs waterfalls, and transforms into a dragon.
For me, the koi fish became the perfect symbol for my concentration, encapsulating the resilience and transformation I aimed to convey through my art.
This piece symbolizes the struggle of feeling exposed and vulnerable in the midst of overwhelming darkness. The stagnant water surrounding the fish evokes a sense of stillness and entrapment, as if trapped in a state of inaction and helplessness. The koi, usually a symbol of resilience, contrasts with its current state—attempting to hide in the shadows yet still visible, unable to fully escape its circumstances. This piece was done with acrylic paints and string gel on a white canvas board.
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This piece illustrates the impact of mental illness on a family. The dark waters symbolize the overwhelming challenges of life, slowly pulling the family of koi fish deeper into an inescapable void. The parent fish, as guardians, try to protect the baby fish, but their efforts seem powerless against the relentless current, unable to prevent the child’s descent into darkness. The downward spiral conveys a sense of helplessness and inevitability, emphasizing the emotional burden of the parents’ inability to shield their child from the struggle. The deep, saturated colors and swirling water heighten the feeling of entrapment, reflecting the weight of this ongoing battle. This piece was done with acrylic paints and string gel on a white canvas board.
Mockups:
This piece symbolizes the emotional and physical toll of hitting rock bottom. The slow shedding of the koi fish's scales mirrors the loss of strength and identity, revealing vulnerability and fragility. The exposed bones evoke a sense of depletion and surrender, capturing the overwhelming feelings of isolation, helplessness, and despair that accompany the lowest point in a person’s life. The stillness of the scene emphasizes the paralysis that comes with feeling lost and disconnected, while highlighting the internal struggle of a person trapped in their darkest moments. This piece was done with inks on a wooden canvas board.
Mockups:
This piece symbolizes the gradual process of rebuilding one's life. Each puzzle piece represents a small step toward healing, growth, and reclaiming strength after hardship. The hand gently and steadily works to piece together the fractured image, reflecting the effort and patience required to restore balance. The act of assembling the puzzle evokes a sense of control and determination, highlighting the slow but steady process of regaining wholeness and transforming struggle into strength. This piece was done with acrylics on a white canvas board.
Mockups:
This artwork depicts the slow and steady journey of healing. The rays of light emerging from above represent hope, clarity, and the promise of recovery through the dark, murky waters. The upward motion of the fish signifies growth, resilience, and the gradual progress toward finding peace. The piece captures the quiet strength required to push through adversity, conveying a sense of optimism and the belief that, despite the darkness, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. This piece was done with acrylic paints and modeling paste on a white canvas board.
Mockups:
This piece highlights the stark contrast between two realms, symbolizing the ongoing battle with mental illness. Below the surface, the individual is immersed in the depths of their emotions, represented by the koi fish and turbulent waters, signifying the constant struggle and effort required to navigate these challenges. Above the water, the calm and muted colors embody control, balance, and serenity, suggesting that while the healing journey is ongoing, there is a path toward overcoming adversity and maintaining composure. The piece conveys the idea that, though struggles may never fully vanish, it is possible to learn to manage them, finding peace amidst the chaos. This piece was done in acrylic paints on a white canvas board.
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